Missteps

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So, first and foremost I have taken a few weeks to just let things simmer around here, as well as to kind of get my head into a place that I can handle writing in this again. Things haven’t been exactly hunky dory around here as of late, but they have been improving pretty much across the board. I can say that some stuff is still… Well, it isn’t good. I am trying to make it better though, and that is a lot easier said than done when Kita is resisting me pretty much every step of the way. He thinks that he can do whatever he wants and because we are in a relationship that means I just have to accept all of it. That’s crap… I mean, I am doing things for him and thinking of him, he only thinks of himself with a lot of things. I know he does things for me too and I can see that, but… I dunno. We got into a pretty bad fight about him being a selfish ass last week, and another one yesterday. It is for sure his least endearing trait, to say the least of it to be honest. I try to be tolerant of his selfishness, but… I dunno. I can never understand thinking in such a way, nor do I want to to be honest. So, yeah… He and I are making it work, and things have been okay, but they could be better if he just grew up and got over himself. I have patience and I have been being nice, but he… Between being hopelessly addicted to his phone and being as self-centered as they come… I don’t know how much longer I want to keep ignoring job offers and being treated like crap by someone who clearly thinks they are god’s gift to Earth.

Anyways, writing. I have been being better about it after a bit of a stumble to start this month. I am working on getting even better too, with progress being made on my novel and Patreon already wrapped up for the month. I have some other things that need working on, which I am going to take care of today after I finish writing this, but I plan on getting back on track for catching up with everything here soon. I want to start getting those longer stories done with, and that will make me quite happy once I get that done. I just… I need to be working on more things, and getting more stuff done. I have been getting better, but every time that happens it only lasts for a week or so before I slip right back into bad habits or something comes up. I know this weekend is going to be a tough one for me for example, but I am going to try my best to get at least something done. I mean hell, I’ve already had 2 editing days this past week, so I am at least trying to get things done. I just need to do more doing.

Past that… My dad’s dog had to get put down, and that was a rough one. I know both he and my step mom weren’t doing so well, and still aren’t. I am fine, just kind of a little sad about it… The dog was never really mine though, it belonged to my dad first and foremost by a long stretch. So, yet another thing I kind of never got to connect with. Been a lot of that I’ve been finding lately… Between a couple of my fursuits that I feel I’ve never really clicked with, to the dog, to just a couple of writing themes that I handle well, but feel no connection to… I dunno, I have been feeling very disconnected lately. Hell, I went out for a  drive last night and just felt off while I was driving. My whole car felt foreign to me… I know, I don’t go out as much as I used to and all that, but this was the first time since I have stopped working that even driving felt wrong to me. I don’t know what has been going on with me, but… I don’t really like it. I am hoping it has nothing to do with how Kita and I are doing, nor how I am feeling as though I still need to do better with writing. But, I can only think that one of those two is the culprit… I want my head back on straight, and I am working to get it there. But either way, ciao for now I suppose.

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