This week… Oh man this week. I worked almost 15 hours yesterday, and as I sit here writing this now, I am nearing 13 hours today. I was here so long yesterday that I literally had the first shift guys come in again after they had left to see me working there. It was no one that I work with, but it was people that I see regardless… And that messed with me a lot. It made me think a lot, and it made me start to debate whether or not this job is worth it. Sure it’s secure and stable and will always have work and overtime… But with Ratchet now making more than me (A fact which he rubbed in a bit rudely… But I am more jealous than annoyed) and just others kind of passing me by, I think this may be the time to get out of here, for real. I know I have said it in the past, but I kind of have that motivation that I was lacking in the past. I also have the experience, the know how, and just the talent to pull it off with what I do now… I can program freehand pretty decently, and that is just what I have managed to learn with no training whatsoever. No one has taught me but me… ANd with that in mind, I want to see how far I can go.
Past work stuff… Nothing else has been happening in life. I am not kidding either; absolutely nothing is going on. I am buying a fursuit, another one… And this one I hope is a good idea. It’s used by a friend, and he isn’t exactly the most careful with it, but I hope that all will go well and that the thing will be in good shape. I trust him, well enough at least, and if anything else I have the entire thing documented. I dunno… Between that and my sketchbook possibly being gone forever and Pads still missing pieces over a year later… I don’t really know what I am doing in the fandom with my money and myself lately. I am really putting the financial screws on myself with this suit, and if that sketchbook is gone that’s nearly 1000 dollars of stuff just out of my pocket. I don’t know what to do with that, and it makes me really upset to think about… But there is nothing that can be done. I really, honestly, need to start spending less and saving more, as I have said that I will do… But in particular on furry stuff. I know I am massively into the fandom, but I need to cut back. Bad.
Life… Heh, personal life has been suffering with this work schedule simply because I am trying to make enough money to make ends meet. I don’t know… I am doing my best here with all of this. It’s hard though, being patient and being nice and just pretending that I am fine with how things are going when really I am just barely hanging on . Not a little bit either… This is utter murder to be working this much on my body, mind, and really everything else. I can’t help but feel as though every ounce of me is falling apart with all of this, and I am trying to not feel that way… I mean, I want to be able to look at life as something more positive, but these past few weeks with working this muych and being this tired and not even having a moment to just center myself… It’s really, really hard to do anything at all other than just tuck my head down and survive. That makes everything harder for me, but… I am doing my best to keep at it, and I can only hope that it stays the way it is and nothing else comes along to make things even more stressful.
Short one today… Just kind of wanted to get a couple things off my mind here. I don’t really know when my next one will be, but I am starting to do these more at work, so that should be a good sign or at least a jumping off point for returning to doing them regularly. It is also getting me used to this new laptop I got a month ago… And never use… Yeah. I dunno, it’s Windows 8, and that’s weird for me. I don’t hate it, but I don’t like it either. It will take some serious getting used to. So yeah, just doing that and chugging along… Gonna be writing a lot this weekend. That’s it. Ciao for now!