I sit here and write this on a Monday… Night. I still have a hard time calling it night, as for me this used to be the middle of the day for me. It is odd to think that now I go to bed when I do, instead of when I used to. I mean, I was in bed at 1-2 AM for years, and then 4-5 AM for years after that. Now, I am waking up at 5:30ish in the morning, every morning, to go to a job that is vastly different from the one I had. I am doing the same thing, sure, but the conditions, people, and treatment are all different. I am respected, my opinion is valued, and people understand that I have a life outside of the shop. I don’t want to sometimes, as I want to be able to make money and take care of both Res and myself as much as I can, but to think that it is going the way it is… I don’t know, it is just something that is so weird for me. It is going to take a while for me to wrap my head around it, but I will manage to do it somehow, and when I do I will begin to truly understand how a normal life works. I think at least; I don’t think my life will ever be normal with the 4 fursuit heads I have in my living room after all.
Anyways, Res and I moved as well. We are settled in, and this weekend was really just recovering and making sure that he and I are comfortable moving forward. I am, and I am glad to have what we do; a 2 story townhouse of sorts in a nice, quiet neighborhood less than ten minutes away from both of our jobs. No more city living, no more half-hour commute for Res, and no more roommates. It is just he and I and no one else, and I love it. We had friends over yesterday without a thought, and had a blast. I don’;t have to tell anyone to keep it down or worry about others running up my bills; they are all mine now, and I can control them. There is so much that is just out and out better about this whole arrangement that I cannot help but feel as though I was missing something before I did it. I mean, money will be tighter, and things will be more stressful on me going forward, but… I don’t know. I just feel as though there is little that I cannot do now because of living arrangements. Res and I are perfectly healthy and fine and work well; no arguments aside from little, dumb shit. He could communicate better, and I could be more patient is what most of them boil down to in all honesty, and if that is the biggest issue I have at home… Then I can really flourish here. I want to, as I want to write again. I miss it, and I need to get better at what I ultimately want to be my trade.
Speaking of that, I haven’t written much of anything since returning from Rainfurrest. It was a stellar con, and really established many friendships that I didn’t know I could, or would, or did, have. There were a couple bridges burned, but by and large it was a success, and really reminded me of the better parts of this fandom. Could I move out there? No, but I could visit more often and would probably want to do as such going forward. I need to look into that honestly, as that would be something to consider for a trip during the winter. Either way, it is something that I didn’t foresee going as well as it did, and it really re-energized me in terms of furry, the fandom, and writing. Those were all things that I did need that re-energizing on, and now that I have it… Well, I can start creating again. I think. I hope. I want to after all, and I am getting my drive back now that less and less of my life is actively on fire. I am working towards being a healthy, productive, and creative adult again, and I want to stay that way this time.
Past all that… Nothing major to report. Life, writing, and work are the three big things for me right now, and they will continue to be. I am getting back into gaming somewhat, which is good as that means my brain is slowing down to be able to work again. I had been moving so fast for so long just to keep my head above water that I hadn;t slowed down to just relax in months. Now that I am able to… Well, I can see things getting much better for me going forward. I want that, and need it. Less stress would be wonderous for me, and would really make it so that I can focus again. So here’s hoping everything stays going the way it is, and that nothing trips me up. I want to be something better, and I want to stay something better for a long time coming. I can be more, I just need to do it. Ciao for now!~