Nose To The Grindstone

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So… I have been doing a lot of work here these past few weeks. Between 2 cons, getting myself over being kind of ill thanks to the seasons changing, and just in general working a whole lot both at my day job and at writing, I have been one busy mutt. I am back to writing in a big way, and work is starting to normalize yet again, even if my schedule is back to one that is utter murder on my sleeping… 3PM to 3AM isn’t something that is conducive to me doing much else aside from being tired. It does let me get some writing done though, and now that I feel like I am back on track for the time being in that sense, and have been writing stuff that I actually am okay with… I guess I can say that I am back to writing commissions? I have put out a few over these past several days, and have a few more that are waiting in the wings for me to finish. I can’t say that I will stay with this track, as there are a great many things that can come up, but I am doing my best to just stay on task and keep myself focused and going forward, rather than dwelling on the stresses that have plagued me for well over a month at this point. There is no sense in trying to change something that can’t be changed, so instead I have just been focusing on moving and keeping myself going.

The biggest of these stresses has been money, and several things tied to it. My accident from back in October may have an impending lawsuit coming along with it, which I hope won’t happen. I managed to dodge that bullet last time around, and I am hoping for the same again… I really don’t need someone coming to me and demanding something that I don’t have. Garnished wages are my biggest concern on this, and if that does come to pass… Well, we shall see where I have to go from there, as I don’t really want to have to worry about that, nor drag Res through the mud because of my screw up on this one. Past that niggle, last month was murder for my income… Between TFF eating up a week of pay and the snow eating up almost 4 more days on its own, I had to work some 15 hour days just to make ends meet, and even then I am only just catching up on some bills. That was a whole ‘nother can of worms too, as that lead to phone calls and whatnot that… Just ugh, yay extra stress on it all. It is handled though, so that has been something that makes me glad. A couple big purchases to come too, and then things should just settle down so Res and I can start to truly save for things to come. Like a hosue, which is an idea we have been toying with… Particularly one in North Carolina, as that would be something new for me… And a change of pace from New England, which I am by and large tired of living in.

Something about living up here where I do is just getting to me. I have very few friends left up here, as I either shoved a lot of them away with the past year and a half of just being a piece of shit that was trying to fix himself, or just stopped talking with others while I hermitted up and worked on being less… Well, shitty. Coming out of that though, I am left with by and large no one up here, and that really bothers me. There are a lot of groups up here, but they are all either cliquish or just in things that would be bad for me while I am still working on getting better. It feels a lot like there is nothing for me here anymore, and with my family pretty much handled… Nothing is really tying me here. Res has nothing aside from me here, and his job, so he is somewhat in the same boat. That being said, we are just exploring our options about somewhere else and thinking on it; nothing has been planned and going forward we will just be talking about it. I just… I want to go somewhere where I can start anew and just go back to being known as the me I am, not the me I was.

What else… Just work and feeling stressed is about it. Not much else has been going on, as I have been too busy to really have anything else go on. Been watching a lot of anime, and playing a game or two here and there, but… THat’s about it. Nothing new or exciting aside from the fact that I am back to writing more often than I have been in months. I want to keep that trend going too, so I am working on it and trying my hardest to not lose the momentum that I all but had to fight for. That’s pretty much it though, really… Kind of makes me a bit sad to think that things have gotten so routine for me, but at the same time I am glad for that because then I am not constantly having to stress about a million things; I get to focus on a select few. That has made things easier, so I am tackling things as they come now rather than just scatter shot trying to handle everything. Things with Res have been good, and things around home have been good… So, yeah, just kind of been normal aside from what I’ve mentioned. Dunno, guess that is why I have been putting off updating this thing. Either way, that’s about it, so ciao for now.

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